Today was a miraculous moment. I dropped my kids off at school, BOTH kids are going to school full time. My kids didn’t cry at drop off and neither did I. We all seemed happy, except for my oldest (he finds school boring). I think I was the only one thinking at the kindergarten drop off, YES!  I’m freee! I have the biggest smile on my face. Someone said I wouldn’t know what to do without them. 

I must say I won’t miss the constant pulling of my arm, or the “Mommy come play with me”, or the “Mommy where are you?”, or my youngest always having to sit next to me or on my lap at all times. If he is not sitting by me he is causing trouble with his brother which always leads to someone crying.

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I was planning to take a nap, but man I’m just too happy to have sometime to myself!! All to myself. No kids, no husband, no kids’ grandparents around! This feeling is unbelievable. 

I never did appreciate the quiet time prior to having kids as much as I should have. Now I will have plenty of time to hopefully get my house and myself back to a place that I am happy about. 

My to do list has been growing. I am not sure how much will get done but it is nice to have time try and see how what I can do.

It’s QUIET! No screaming, no crying (oh my god the tantrums still happen over stupid things), no fighting, no mommy anything! I dropped them off and breathed a sign of relief. I love my kids, but man are they attention driven mammals. I don’t have enough of me to give to everyone. I try to help them in all the ways I can, but sometimes a little quiet time helps me cope with all the craziness. 

The BEST PART is I can go shopping all by myself!! I mean all alone! No kids screaming, I want this or that.  No more $30 dollar store visits. I can just go in and buy what I need! My house has too many crappy little things from the dollar store that they never touch anymore. Oh! All those crappy things are going to disappear! I can throw things away without kids crying over them. MOM! How can you throw this out?!?!?!  Even though they haven’t touched it in months, it’s still a toy and they have issues letting go. 

Just let it go already!!

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I just can’t, can’t stop smiling. My kids are someone else’s responsibility for six hours a day. I didn’t think I would feel this happy. My mind gets to relax and not think about anything but me for a few hours a day. Good way to feel and happy I can enjoy it because it has been one hell of a journey so far.

Written anonymously by a member of the Yin and Yang Mom online community. “Brave & Honest” resides in Northeast New Jersey with her husband and two sons.

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