Pick It Up Now!

The other day I was walking around – tearing through, if I’m being honest – the house, tidying up.  This goes there, that goes here etc. And as I was running around, I noticed my daughter’s daisy uniform laying on the foyer table.  It’s bright blue, hard to miss (unless you’re one of the other humans with whom I reside. Sigh) and had caught my eye on my last several passes past the table, but on this occasion, it occurred to me that I might as well bring it upstairs and put it away on my next trip up.  I’m nothing if not efficient.

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But just before I went to grab it, another task came to mind.  “Don’t do it!” screamed one part of my brain “You’ll just get distracted with that and will completely forget about the task at hand (daisy uniform) which will then drive you nuts, which will then mean the uniform stays put…” “But I’m here!” screamed back the random thought in its own self-advocacy, “and if you don’t do me now, you’ll forget about me entirely!”  And sure enough, I did the other thing (I couldn’t tell you what this was if I was offered $1 million and tried really hard) and promptly forgot about what the hell I was doing in the first place a moment later. I got a good chuckle out of this scene, as you can imagine. And was equally annoyed that I had forgotten what I had been doing in the first place. No time to dawdle though, and a moment later, I was on to something else.  Don’t ask me what that was either.

And this is the conundrum I know we are each are faced with all too often, as I hear from my friends, my patients, and posts on social media mommy groups.  Is it because we’re moms?

Is it because I’m getting older and exhibit symptoms of CRS (Can’t- Remember-SH#T)?

Is it because I firmly believe that no one in my house cares about these thing besides me?  I think the answer is yes to all of the above.

When I was much younger and before I had kids, this never would have happened to me.  I was a bit neurotic about remembering things and most times, rarely forgot about them.  Errands, chores and other to-do’s were completed with relative efficiency. Frankly, I think I held myself to a standard that was at times, a bit too high, and if I’m being honest was not easily achieved without making myself a bit crazed in the process.  On the rare occasion that I had forgotten something, I would be pretty harsh and critical of myself and it was difficult for me to channel my inner Elsa and just let it go.

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As I’ve gotten older, I feel pretty proud of myself about how I’ve changed as far as this is concerned. Without much choice really, I’ve adapted to not being able to achieve this standard anymore, and lots of times, I don’t even come close to it.  I do the best that I can and have learned to laugh in spite of the frustrations – at times – largely as a way of coping, I think, but also because the hilarity of it all really does just give me fuel for the next thing coming my way.  And they say laughter really is the best medicine, right?

I’ll be right back – just heard an email come through. The phone just rang.  Lunchtime. Coffee run. Kickball practice. It’s raining and my windows are open.  Hitting the gym real quick.

What was I just saying?

Julia holds a Masters Degree in Social Work from Columbia University, advanced Clinical Certificates from NYU, and certification in Psychodynamic Psychotherapy from the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy. Julia can best be reached at      julia.hochstadt@gmail.com      or via her website      www.therapywithjulia.com     .

Julia holds a Masters Degree in Social Work from Columbia University, advanced Clinical Certificates from NYU, and certification in Psychodynamic Psychotherapy from the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy. Julia can best be reached at julia.hochstadt@gmail.com or via her website www.therapywithjulia.com.

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